Why Not Go Monochromatic AND Reacquaint Yourself with Your Inner Child?
Plus a little bit on Phoebe, Cy Twombly, and satin.
A few years ago this photo popped up in my Facebook feed. I had completely forgotten this Halloween. I was maybe ten years old, I’m with one of my best friends Jessica (who remains a good friend). She’s dressed as Pebbles, a sweet, 1990s era costume. Her brother is a very cute pirate. I, on the other hand, am dressed, I believe as a French artist complete with a beret with my hair tucked into it, a neck scarf, all-black outfit, and, of course, a mustache painted on my face. Like what? It’s so weird and random and makes me laugh so much, but it’s also endearing.
Inner child has become a serious buzz word. In one context, it’s about embracing the most authentic little you, whatever that means. In so many meditations I’d done I had trouble finding that space that the guide was trying to take me to—some time in childhood when I didn’t care what people thought and I was just “me.” But this photo really captured it for me and transported me back. You can tell by my face that I’m also in character. I’m not just any French artist, I’m a serious French artist. I didn’t wear this costume so anyone would think I looked cute or pretty, I wore it because I thought it was cool and I felt like it.
The other side of inner child work, the dark side if you will, I think is broken down most perfectly by Gabor Maté as well as in the book The Drama of the Gifted Child. Maté succinctly puts it: “Most of what we call personality is not a fixed set of traits, only a coping mechanism a person acquired in childhood.” It’s all the ways we’ve covered up who we truly are in order to be more palatable to the world. As adults, we do it on autopilot. It’s all the people pleasing, confrontation avoidance, perfectionism, and other defense mechanisms executed to protect ourselves from actually being seen, because ultimately we fear that if people see the real us we won’t be loved. How sad that this is a universal human condition. So on the day after Halloween, I invite you to listen to Maté on a podcast and buy that book if you already haven’t! And unearth some little part of you that you’ve kept tucked away, take off your mask. Maybe it’s that you love reading out loud, or singing, or painting, or going to science museums. Maybe you haven’t told one person in your life that something about your dynamic isn’t working for you. The world is wild and scary. Try confronting it be being a little more little you. Why not?
And a few more why nots for good measure:
Why not let your coat lead the monochromatic way?
You had to be hiding your fashion-loving body under a rock if you missed Phoebe Philo’s first collection launch yesterday. I loved it. Some people didn’t. The price tag was in line with Céline, she’s not out here slinging any deals, but if you can get a $6200 wool trench coat, this could be the one. The Mum necklace was fun but I loved the pendants more and the heeled loafers were A+. Obviously I’d already been in my monochromatic state of mind, but to have PP back me up just solidified my path. My point? Everything is better in shades of the same color. This time of year I think that’s best achieved with a good coat. I have some favorites in brown, navy, and gray that mix with all of the other brown, navy and gray pieces in my closet. Below are some examples.
The navy coat is Anine Bing and it’s so soft and beautiful and works perfectly with my Demellier bag. I love this Nanushka chocolate brown coat, worn with an Eterne dress. And this Bougessa coat is a dream. This Banana Republic version is similar and lovely.
Why not glove up?
When someone says, ugh why are you so dramatic?, just smile, and wave to them with your chic gloved hand. The Row has made styling your looks with leather gloves an entire personality type and I love it. I love all the lengths. It makes everything a little bit more posh, and you know how I feel about Posh and Becks.
Cos short gloves with cashmere lining, opera length leather gloves from amazon for that The Row moment, and a good mid length glove on sale at saks.
Why not bomb dot com if you haven’t already?
I loved that Loewe puffy leather jacket last year. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like there are that many new ideas in fashion and it legit felt like one. That price tag was whew, but it’s nice to see the theme continue with other brands. I’m into the Acne one for fall with jeans and a beanie and it’s much more approachable.
Acne Studios jacket, $800
Not a puffy girl? Any bomber will do. I am obsessed with this image.
This is Saint Laurent and obviously perfect. BUT there are some great vintage ones on ebay that I’ve been watching but I am a saint and will share them here and here and here and here.
Why not embrace satin in all its shiny complexity?
I’m really in a satin mood. It’s fancy without being sparkly which feels much more elegant. The Khaite dress is ideal holiday fare because it’s not so on the nose but feels festive if you want it to. I like that the top can be worn with denim or dressed up and same goes for the maxi skirt—t-shirt, knit, or another silk top all work and do different things. Basically, everything is coming up satin for me, including these beautiful flat satin shoes from Toteme.
Why not get a good art book?
I feel a true emotional connection to Cy Twombly. I mean look at that suit and those busts. I want this book in the hard cover which is about $350 on amazon right now. So it’s on my wish list. The question is do I get the soft cover in the meantime or wait to make the purchase I really want? As I prepare to create my gift guide and in turn shop for a lot of other people in the coming weeks/months it’s an important question. Don’t you dare ask my who not!?